Thoughts for the mind!!!
I wanted to share this with my limited public. I have been doing a lot of reading about the power of the mind and tongue. I have learned that our lives follow our words. When I think about it is absouletely true. What we say directly effects how we live. So in 2007 I am gonna speak what I want into existence. If I speak it then I believe it.
Share your thoughts with me on the whole speaking it and making it real!!!!!!
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
My daughter is a THUG…ETTE
Through my most recent relationship (pseudo-marriage still in the process of reconciling) I have inherited 9 new kids ages 14-2. Yes, this is not and exaggeration. I said it you read it 9 new kids. Let me give you the break down 5 nieces and nephews, 2 step children and a cousin. Add that to my two and we have our very on Junior Mafia.
I know a small gang of kids isn’t really all that menacing but you have to understand the mix we have. The two youngest ages 2 and 4 are what the family calls cussing bandits.
I have still yet to learn as an adult the word combinations that these two can create. Impressive to say the least. WRONG… but impressive just the same. Since they roll in a set there is no need for them to play with other kids and they will punk them anyway.
OK..the point of my story. Last Sunday, my sister in law decided to take Junior Mafia out to the skating rink so they could well you know get out of our faces. We gather the posse up and drop them off at the skating rink with these list of instructions;
No fighting each other or strangers
Big Kids(3) please watch the little kids (3)
Take the money you have ( a combined 48.00) and make sure everyone in Junior Mafia eats.. EVERYONE..
Be ready to go in two hours. Shoes, coats on and standing outside.
Well, the two oldest is my daughter and my niece who are both 13 yrs old. Thirteen year olds are full of attitude, attitude and more attitude. Did I say attitude?
About an hour and half later I receive a call from my frantic niece screaming that her cousin is trying to fight her and calling her out her name. Of course, my mommy mode kicks in and my brain screams” Ain’t nobody messing with my child. “I tell her to put her cousin on the phone and I immediately begin to scream at my niece like she is another grown ass woman was on the other end of my phone. I tell my neice I am on my way to tell the rest of Junior Mafia to be ready. Just then I snap back to reality when I see the face of the horrified Wal-Mart clerk asking me everything is ok. I want to say . “Oh, yea. That was just a flash of ghetto”. But, instead I said “ You know teenagers”. My sister in law looks at me as if to say “Hello, were you just yelling at my kid like that”. Hmnmm. I apologize to her and I say you know the girls and their drama. She ask for me to recant the chaotic phone call. I did my best and then apologize for yelling at my niece. She laughs and says “ Her bad ass needed it”.
On the way to the skating rink I ponder what is genetically wrong with us that we find the need to create conflict in every possible situation we put ourselves. We can’t form a gang, create an organization, have a family event or do the electric slide without someone messing it up. Dang black folks
Anywho, we pull up to the front of the skating rink and I panic. Have those dang on kids now pulled perfectly innocent strangers and formed an all gang fight. This is worse than I imagined. The closer we get I realized. What..oh hell no. That is just Junior Mafia and they are fighting each other!!! This is some bull. The little kids are fighting the little kids, the big kids are cussing out the big kids and to lead the gang fight off. IS MY CHILD. THIS BOUGIE WHITE WASHED FAKE HAIR WEARING LITTLE BLACK GIRL is cussing out her cousin using every single cuss word in the ghetto dictionary. It was such a show I had to step back. I stood there behind my child in amazement watching cuss words flow from her mouth like water. She was creating B**ch and B**stard combos I had never heard of. You are gonna do what to her a**. All she was missing was gang signs and tattoos. This kid was Thug Life for real and my niece right there word for word. This is shame. This is a real shame.
Ok…Ok..I have to snap out the ghetto and stop this nonsense. So my sister in law and I finally step in to stop the madness. But, now I know my child has an alter ego. My child is secretly a hood rat. Is there some type of therapy for this? Some prevention efforts I can make to suck her free from the ghetto world. If you know of any..HOLLA!!!
Through my most recent relationship (pseudo-marriage still in the process of reconciling) I have inherited 9 new kids ages 14-2. Yes, this is not and exaggeration. I said it you read it 9 new kids. Let me give you the break down 5 nieces and nephews, 2 step children and a cousin. Add that to my two and we have our very on Junior Mafia.
I know a small gang of kids isn’t really all that menacing but you have to understand the mix we have. The two youngest ages 2 and 4 are what the family calls cussing bandits.
I have still yet to learn as an adult the word combinations that these two can create. Impressive to say the least. WRONG… but impressive just the same. Since they roll in a set there is no need for them to play with other kids and they will punk them anyway.
OK..the point of my story. Last Sunday, my sister in law decided to take Junior Mafia out to the skating rink so they could well you know get out of our faces. We gather the posse up and drop them off at the skating rink with these list of instructions;
No fighting each other or strangers
Big Kids(3) please watch the little kids (3)
Take the money you have ( a combined 48.00) and make sure everyone in Junior Mafia eats.. EVERYONE..
Be ready to go in two hours. Shoes, coats on and standing outside.
Well, the two oldest is my daughter and my niece who are both 13 yrs old. Thirteen year olds are full of attitude, attitude and more attitude. Did I say attitude?
About an hour and half later I receive a call from my frantic niece screaming that her cousin is trying to fight her and calling her out her name. Of course, my mommy mode kicks in and my brain screams” Ain’t nobody messing with my child. “I tell her to put her cousin on the phone and I immediately begin to scream at my niece like she is another grown ass woman was on the other end of my phone. I tell my neice I am on my way to tell the rest of Junior Mafia to be ready. Just then I snap back to reality when I see the face of the horrified Wal-Mart clerk asking me everything is ok. I want to say . “Oh, yea. That was just a flash of ghetto”. But, instead I said “ You know teenagers”. My sister in law looks at me as if to say “Hello, were you just yelling at my kid like that”. Hmnmm. I apologize to her and I say you know the girls and their drama. She ask for me to recant the chaotic phone call. I did my best and then apologize for yelling at my niece. She laughs and says “ Her bad ass needed it”.
On the way to the skating rink I ponder what is genetically wrong with us that we find the need to create conflict in every possible situation we put ourselves. We can’t form a gang, create an organization, have a family event or do the electric slide without someone messing it up. Dang black folks
Anywho, we pull up to the front of the skating rink and I panic. Have those dang on kids now pulled perfectly innocent strangers and formed an all gang fight. This is worse than I imagined. The closer we get I realized. What..oh hell no. That is just Junior Mafia and they are fighting each other!!! This is some bull. The little kids are fighting the little kids, the big kids are cussing out the big kids and to lead the gang fight off. IS MY CHILD. THIS BOUGIE WHITE WASHED FAKE HAIR WEARING LITTLE BLACK GIRL is cussing out her cousin using every single cuss word in the ghetto dictionary. It was such a show I had to step back. I stood there behind my child in amazement watching cuss words flow from her mouth like water. She was creating B**ch and B**stard combos I had never heard of. You are gonna do what to her a**. All she was missing was gang signs and tattoos. This kid was Thug Life for real and my niece right there word for word. This is shame. This is a real shame.
Ok…Ok..I have to snap out the ghetto and stop this nonsense. So my sister in law and I finally step in to stop the madness. But, now I know my child has an alter ego. My child is secretly a hood rat. Is there some type of therapy for this? Some prevention efforts I can make to suck her free from the ghetto world. If you know of any..HOLLA!!!
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Can you tell me why my dog is GREEN?My lil divas in training (ages 9&13) decided to get a head start on Halloween by magically turning the dog GREEN.They were given one simple task and I do mean simple. Please bathe the dog while I am at work because as cute as she is she smells like pure ASS!!. Now, they did call me at work to tell me that they had come across a small obstacle in completing their task. The dog ( a shitzu) had nipped at one of the divas and now was over the whole bath taking experience. Ok.. fair enough. I simply say let her dry and I we will try to bathe her again when I get home. Ok.. cool. no worries..AHHH!! but somewhere between that phone call and 6pm the fairy came and sprinkled dust upon the dog's kennel magically turning the underside of her belly, her four paws and her tail green. Oh what a pretty shade of green it is!! The dog who is typically white with tan spots looked just plain embarrassed as she walks out the dag on kennel in slow motion. She knew in all her doggy wisdom that someone had JACKED HER UP and they were not confessing. Here we are 4 days and several baths later my dog is still green. Not the magically delicious green she was initially but still green. I need to take her to the groomers to have them reverse the damage but, I am kind of embarrassed to tell the vet I have no FREAKIN clue what happened. I have to give it the lil divas this time they are staying tight lipped and locked down on their alibi. Still no one knows what happened. They have even endured the interrogating skills of the pseudo-boyfriend/husband when he demanded an explanation of what happened to his baby. They gave him the same lame but miraculously story they gave me but, his included cute smiles, dimples and batting eyelashes!!I personally blame creative, cute shows like That's So Raven - that give potentionally bad kids like mine cute ideas like melting cheese in the heating ducts or turning the dog the unnatural shade of a skittle. There is one thing left for me to do. Slap some ears on her and send her trick a treating with the lil divas as a Gremlin!!.
My life is a trip.. But then again whose isn't.However, I believe I find more humor in my life than most and felt it was time to share the world through my mind's eye. Which at times should really be closed. Anyway, like many of my blogger mentor's i.e.SingleMa and Debt Hater I am jumping on the financial bandwagon. But, I am riding shotgun. I will let them drive that one. I also have the challenged of my lunatic ex-husband, my control freak boyfriend and my lil diva's in training.The ultimate goal : Kick off my journey down the yellow brick road of dreams and show myself and my lil divas that dreams can come true. Whew!! That does sound like fun!!!
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