We have all heard the old adage... How can I love someone else if I don't love myself"?
How true is that really?
In the last few months I have been especially observant of how reckless we all can be with someone else's heart. It seems so easy to abuse the feelings of others. I wonder if some of that
stems from the abuse we do to ourselves.
Now a days everybody and their momma is suffering from low self esteem. There are pills,
counselors and support groups that exist to help solve this problem. Low self esteem has ended
lives, caused divorces and created wars. But, in the words of the comedian Katt Williams" Self esteem is your esteem of self. " We seem to go through life wanting someone else to help us
fix it to make us feel worthy of their love and worthy of ours.
I had a talk with a friend the other day and commented during our conversation that I didn't
think she was in love with her husband. Her response was "I am trying." When I the conversation ended I continue to think about her response of I am trying. Was the problem really her trying to love him or her trying to love herself to feel she was worthy of his love?
Self esteem is so fragile. It can be shattered so easy. In some of us easier than in others. It can also be hidden behind over self confidence and anger.
The purpose of self esteem in a relationship.. well good self esteem is to show the other person who you wish to be loved and vice versa. So much so that when I don't feel all that good about myself that I can see the good parts in my partner and remember who I can be or who I was whatever the case is.
My relationship of four years has recently ended(no I am not sure for how long). But, the underlining issues was self esteem. I had to much to allow certain behaviors to continue. He didn't have enough to see himself as the incredible person I saw him as. Minues the abuse and anger.
It goes back to the beginning statement. Maybe, I can 't really love someone else if I don't love myself. Because, well I simply cannot recognize real love.
For those of you who are in a relationship and you are struggling. It feels like Usher's new song like "Moving Mountains." Stop and take some time to work on yourself. The answer could lie wit h you and your "esteem of self"
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1 comment:
I think it is really hard to come to "We" before there is "Me." When two people are in a volatile state of growth and evolution the two people who come out of the other side of the process don't always match up as well as the two people that went into the process.
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