My eternal friend ask me to dust off my writing brain and do an entry for her website. Well, a short story about turning and being in your thirties. Although, I consider myself a mildly talented writer I hadn't written in a super long time. But, to quote the cowardly lion from The Wizard of OZ" " A promise is a promise" So I wrote a little story want read it here it go: On July 4th of this year my sister in law celebrated her 30th birthday. As we all gathered around her and the cake to sing to her I noticed the look of dread on her face. Facing the cake comically illuminated with 30 candles I saw it. The reality of turning 30 had hit her and she was scared. As the family raps up a sorely out of tune version of Stevie Wonder’s Happy Birthday remix my father in law shouts “You old now gurl ain’t ya. It’s all down hill from here.” I glared at him thinking now would be a good time for me to develop a secret super power of being able to melt people with my laser eyes. I could see the tears well up in her eyes as she glanced at every one and faked a smile. Amidst all the laughter I shouted out” Trust me it is just about to get good for you. They don’t call it dirty thirty for nothing. You’ll see the thirties is the shit.” Everyone looks at me like a woman possessed but, I meant every word of it.
Later that night when the crowd had gone home my sister in law and I were sitting around nursing the last of a huge bottle of Brandy. I turn to her and say “You know I meant what I said earlier. If you do it right you will really love being in your thirties. I know you are married with kids but in my opinion you don’t really start becoming a woman until you hit thirty.” She smiles her inebriated smile, lifts her drink up to me and mumbles “God, I sure hope you are right” I smile back; lift my drink in return and down the last swig of Brandy.
I remember when I was quickly approaching my thirtieth and my older friends would rant and rave about how great the big 3-0 was. Back then in my 20 something naivety I thought it was big old lie they were telling me to make them feel better about getting older. I quickly discovered it was not a lie at all. Since turning 30 some 7 years ago I have learned about me. I don’t feel the need to sugar coat my words, or explain my actions. I don’t apologize for my mistakes and I no longer beat myself up over them either. I don’t live by someone else’s definitions of what I should be, how I should look or what I should wear. My madness is my own even without rhyme or reason. I can drink with the best of the 20 something crowd but I have the wisdom to know when to stop so I don’t pass out in my on ..well. you get the picture. I take pleasure in my size 10 frame. I can still hooch it out with the best of them while still being able to maintain a level of class women in their 20’s have not yet discovered. I can walk up to a man any man of any age and know for sure he could me mine with the bat of an eyelash. The world is my candy store and I attract them all from 22-62. Yea, you can’t do that in your twenties.
Since turning thirty life has kicked my ass. I have lived the best and worst of times. I have seen divorce, foreclosure, job loss, miscarriage etc. But, now I have resilience, a toughness that allows me to learn and survive every obstacle and road block. If I had encountered these things in my twenties I would still be in a corner eating graham crackers and playing with my bottom lip, while popping Zoloft like candy.
Now, don’t get me wrong thirty still has it’s effects. I have to take my glasses off to read close up. I relish my bed time of 9pm and still cuss at the discovery of the occasional gray hair. I use age fighting skin care (because I’m not stupid) and I know yoga is the really the true reason why my ass is not sitting on the back of my legs. It’s takes a little more work to keep it all in the right place. Too much rap music gives me a huge headache and I have know all of Victoria’s Secrets because I use them all..smoke and mirrors baby..smoke and mirrors. But, my wisdom is real, my confidence is solid. My tears are less and they do not compromise my strength. I try my damndest to find joy in everyday life. Sometimes I fail. I value my friendships. I understand how importance true love really is and I respect the power behind it. I tolerate less, and when I speak I am sure of the words that I say. I love a good party yet I have learned to be alone without being lonely. I am a woman and as my mom would say” I am all the way grown.”
I will say it again. Thirty is the shit. If thirty is this good then like the “kids” say 40 must be off the hezzie.
Later that night when the crowd had gone home my sister in law and I were sitting around nursing the last of a huge bottle of Brandy. I turn to her and say “You know I meant what I said earlier. If you do it right you will really love being in your thirties. I know you are married with kids but in my opinion you don’t really start becoming a woman until you hit thirty.” She smiles her inebriated smile, lifts her drink up to me and mumbles “God, I sure hope you are right” I smile back; lift my drink in return and down the last swig of Brandy.
I remember when I was quickly approaching my thirtieth and my older friends would rant and rave about how great the big 3-0 was. Back then in my 20 something naivety I thought it was big old lie they were telling me to make them feel better about getting older. I quickly discovered it was not a lie at all. Since turning 30 some 7 years ago I have learned about me. I don’t feel the need to sugar coat my words, or explain my actions. I don’t apologize for my mistakes and I no longer beat myself up over them either. I don’t live by someone else’s definitions of what I should be, how I should look or what I should wear. My madness is my own even without rhyme or reason. I can drink with the best of the 20 something crowd but I have the wisdom to know when to stop so I don’t pass out in my on ..well. you get the picture. I take pleasure in my size 10 frame. I can still hooch it out with the best of them while still being able to maintain a level of class women in their 20’s have not yet discovered. I can walk up to a man any man of any age and know for sure he could me mine with the bat of an eyelash. The world is my candy store and I attract them all from 22-62. Yea, you can’t do that in your twenties.
Since turning thirty life has kicked my ass. I have lived the best and worst of times. I have seen divorce, foreclosure, job loss, miscarriage etc. But, now I have resilience, a toughness that allows me to learn and survive every obstacle and road block. If I had encountered these things in my twenties I would still be in a corner eating graham crackers and playing with my bottom lip, while popping Zoloft like candy.
Now, don’t get me wrong thirty still has it’s effects. I have to take my glasses off to read close up. I relish my bed time of 9pm and still cuss at the discovery of the occasional gray hair. I use age fighting skin care (because I’m not stupid) and I know yoga is the really the true reason why my ass is not sitting on the back of my legs. It’s takes a little more work to keep it all in the right place. Too much rap music gives me a huge headache and I have know all of Victoria’s Secrets because I use them all..smoke and mirrors baby..smoke and mirrors. But, my wisdom is real, my confidence is solid. My tears are less and they do not compromise my strength. I try my damndest to find joy in everyday life. Sometimes I fail. I value my friendships. I understand how importance true love really is and I respect the power behind it. I tolerate less, and when I speak I am sure of the words that I say. I love a good party yet I have learned to be alone without being lonely. I am a woman and as my mom would say” I am all the way grown.”
I will say it again. Thirty is the shit. If thirty is this good then like the “kids” say 40 must be off the hezzie.
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